tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70268038592680595012024-03-13T15:42:49.303+05:30Life in a snapshot..Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-17128297848920219082011-08-12T11:52:00.003+05:302011-08-12T12:08:14.404+05:306 months it is....<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:85%;">There are a lotta activities n progress since my last blog... for full update, please stay in touch personally :)
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<br />6 months seems a very small time... its 2 quarter, half a year... Y is it less, when u know a person almost 8-9 yrs, 6 months is like a drop on a flowing river, trying 2 meet its destination... so what does this 6 months signify!! ahem.... I am married for 6 months now... how is it special! well I AM MARRIED FOR 6 MONTHS NOW!!! :) :)
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<br />Its too early in my marriage to talk about how things should be done, to make a successful marriage n seem all knowledgeable on this!! But I know 1 thing, living with a person, n just knowing a person are 2 very different thoughts of the same idea, (if you know what I mean!) The fun part is, you share everything together... food, rooms, pillows, T.v, WiFi, monthly bills, the BIG stress of maids(trust me that’s a BIG 1), stressful work days, awesome promotion news, etc ... to sum it up, Life in general!! :) The easy part is, when u guys are really friends to understand n Empathize to what your partner is going through....
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<br />Nothing is life is smooth, n it shouldn’t be, the turbulence adds spice to it... But i do not have anything specific to mention here at this point in time.. so let’s leave it at that...
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<br />cheers to the 6 months of budding love....Love u dear..</span>
<br />Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-57022564593650349012010-03-04T13:07:00.004+05:302010-03-04T13:13:08.177+05:30To love is to give one's time because u can never take it back and the other person can never throw it out<p>Dr. Zimmerman's TIP:<br /><br />"<em>The natural course, if untended, is to drift apart and become the proverbial two ships passing in the night</em>."<br />Patrick Morely<br /><br /><br />"<em>When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone</em>."<br />Robert Brault<br /><br />What Dr. Zimmerman Has To Say About This:<br /><br />When I worked in sales, occasionally I'd hear a fellow salesperson say, "Selling wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the customers." And when I taught at the university, occasionally I'd hear another professor say, "I really enjoy teaching. It's the students I can't stand." <br /><br />What they didn't understand was RELATIONSHIP ... the importance of relationship and the process of relationship. And the same thing could be said about a marriage relationship or a team relationship. There are 10 things you've got to know and got to do if you're going to make it all work. <br /><br />=> 1<strong>. Get a realistic understanding of what a relationship can and cannot do.<br /></strong><br />As marriage therapists Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott say, "Marriage or a relationship is, in actual fact, just a way of living. Before marriage, we don't expect life to be all sunshine and roses, but we seem to expect marriage to be that way." And, "Debunking the myth of eternal romance will do more than just about anything to help you build a lifelong, happy marriage."<br /><br />I agree. I'm reminded of an attorney who handles many divorce cases who told me that the number one reason two people split up is that they "refuse to accept the fact that they are married to a human being." The belief in a "happily-ever-after marriage" is one of the most widely held and destructive marriage myths today.<br /><br /><br />=> 2. <strong>Get a realistic perception of the other person.<br /></strong><br />The most dramatic loss experienced in a new marriage is the idealized image the two partners have of one another. Sooner or later, reality will hit the two people squarely in the face: that they did not marry the person they thought they did. <br /><br />That's why author John Fisher advises, "The success of a marriage comes not in finding the 'right' person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married."<br /><br />Similarly, if you're on a team at work, take some time to get to know each other. The more you understand each other's strengths, use those strengths, and work around their weaknesses, the stronger your team will be.<br /><br />=> 3. <strong>Engage in meaningful communication.<br /></strong><br />According to Gary Smalley, the author of several books on marital communication, "Many couples, thinking they know each other intimately, have actually lived on a superficial level for years. Unfortunately, marriages of this type are the norm rather than the exception."<br /><br />In essence, they have failed to communicate. Oh, they may talk, but that's quite different than real communication. Talking is sharing facts, such as "I'll be home at five ... and ... Let's have spaghetti for dinner."<br /><br />Communication is spending quality time together ... sharing who you really are, what you think, and how you feel. And many adults are afraid of sharing their feelings ... or are "too busy" for any in-depth communication with their spouse. As a result, these people find themselves ten years into a marriage and still very lonely. They discover that their loneliness has nothing to do with their proximity to the other person. It comes from a lack of deeper, ongoing communication.<br /><br />As Patrick Morely points out, "The natural course, if untended, is to drift apart and become the proverbial two ships passing in the night."<br /><br />=> 4. <strong>Stay focused on your goal.<br /></strong><br />It's what distinguishes two people who are "merely" living together and two people who are "truly" married. Truly married people have a common goal they are pursuing. <br /><br />And when you can't see your goal, you're going to have problems.<br /><br />That became clear to me through the presentation of another speaker at a Low Alpine sales meeting, an outdoor equipment manufacturer. The speaker talked about climbing Mt. Everest ... the skills it took, the dangers that had to be handled, the people who made it to the top, and those who didn't. <br /><br />But just before he finished his presentation, he asked the audience a question. He remarked, "There's a time when you're climbing when you almost feel depressed. You feel so low and down you're not sure you can continue. Do you know when that is?"<br /><br />The audience shouted out their answers ... such things as ... when you first begin the climb, when you only have 100 yards left, when you reach the top, and when you begin your descent. No one was even close. He said, "Climbers get down when bad weather sets in."<br /><br />He went on to explain that when bad weather sets in you can't see the peak. You lose sight of your GOAL and become easily distracted and sometimes even depressed.<br /><br />Of course, you might be wondering what this has to do with marriage or relationships. There's a very clear correlation. Like a mountain climber who can't see the peak, marriages and relationships that can't see their clearly defined goals are more susceptible to distractions and more likely to waste their time on the less important things in life.<br /><br />So ask yourself if your marriage has a clearly defined goal. If not, get one. And the same goes for your relationship. Get a goal and keep your eye on the goal.<br /><br /><br />=> 5. <strong>Respect differences.<br /></strong><br />In the initial stages of a relationship, differences tend to attract. We find them fascinating. But often times, those same differences can become a source of irritation later on in the relationship. <br /><br />That's too bad, because differences are the source of power ... when they're acknowledged, respected, and utilized. Dr. Ernest Bormann, one of the world's leading researchers on team effectives and my Ph.D. advisor, found indisputable evidence that the best teams were always composed of a variety of people with a variety of skills. The variety of talent allowed these team mates to find the best solutions that combined the best of everyone's input. <br /><br />So when it comes to your marriage ... or your relationship ... learn to celebrate the differences and learn to use each other's strengths. Don't waste your time trying to pound the differences out of the other person or make the other person just like you. It's self-defeating, and it won't work anyway.<br /><br />For starters, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott say, "You'll always find exceptions to the rule, but research and experience consistently point to a fundamental and powerful distinction between the sexes: Men focus on achievement; women focus on relationships. It sounds overly simplistic, and it probably is. But remembering this general rule can save every couple wear and tear on their marriage and strengthen their bond."<br /><br /><br />=> 6. <strong>Maintain a positive attitude.<br /></strong><br />Few things are more contagious and powerful than attitudes. And the attitude you bring to your marriage or your relationship will have a HUGE impact on the results you get.<br /><br />As the world's leading authority on attitudes, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale declared, "There is a basic law that like attracts like. Negative thinking definitely attracts negative results. Conversely, if a person habitually thinks optimistically and hopefully, his positive thinking sets in motion creative forces, and success ...instead of eluding him ... flows toward him."<br /><br />I couldn't agree with him more. I've seldom if ever seen a happy marriage or an effective team staffed with negative people. As author Tom Blandi puts it, "Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working 24 hours a day for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force."<br /><br />Notice Blandi says you have to "harness and control this great force." In other words, your attitudes are changeable and controllable. <br /><br />So don't cop out like so many negative people do ... saying they could be positive if they had a different job, lived in a better place, married a different person, or were teamed up with brighter colleagues. The truth is attitudes and happiness are not hinged upon better circumstances. A person with bad attitudes will still be a person with bad attitudes ... wherever and with whomever he or she lives and works ... unless he/she learns how to get and keep a better attitude.<br /><br /><br />=> 7. <strong>Spend some significant time together.<br /></strong><br />The philosopher Paul Tournier got right to the point. He wrote, "To love is to give one's time because u can never take it back and the other person can never throw it out. We never give the impression that we care when we are in a hurry."<br /><br />In today's crazy busy world, there are few resources more precious than time. It's so much easier to give our partners things than time. And it's easier to give our mates quick advice and walk off than spend time on discussion and decision making.<br /><br />By contrast, one of my clients, AstraZeneca, the pharmaceutical company, knows about the importance of spending time with others and on others. After Hurricane Katrina devastated the city of New Orleans in August of 2005, most of the conventions pulled out of the city ... which only lead to further financial devastation. But not AstraZeneca. They came in a few months later with the biggest convention the city had seen since Katrina.<br /><br />As Rick Reid told me, "After noticing some neighborhoods and buildings in disarray, I noticed the eyes of the local people. Many looked tired, and some seemed almost without hope. As I and my fellow coworkers began to work in their neighborhoods and struck up conversations with the locals, their faces changed from despair to glimmers of brightness." <br /><br />Rick continued, "Attendees at the AstraZeneca meeting were given the chance to volunteer in community activities for a day in the middle of the week. Hundreds helped the local 'Katrina Krewe' to clear debris from city streets. A couple hundred worked with the local 'REX' organization to landscape a school's grounds, and plant trees. A couple dozen worked on the Dr. Seuss exhibit at the local children's museum in preparation for its reopening. Forty went and helped to prepare the University's Women's and Children's Clinic to reopen. I worked with 50 others to repaint a wing of exam rooms in the University's 100-year old building that housed its primary care clinic. If you want to know what color, I'll show you my shirt."<br /><br />The key point Rick made was all about time. He finished his letter to me by saying, "Prior to arriving in New Orleans, I was thinking that the main solution to getting things back to normal there would be more money. And indeed, my company has donated over $5 million in cash and medicines. Then I realized all this money helps, but so very much more is needed. Many workers, waiters, housekeepers, and even musicians came up to individuals in our group and thanked us for coming. It was our presence there ... it was our time spent with them ... that seemed to signal the beginning of a return to normal."<br /><br />Rick has a lesson for all of us. If you want your relationship to work, if you want your marriage to succeed, then there's no substitute for time. You've got to spend time with each other and on each other.<br /><br />=> 8. <strong>Build your friendship.<br /></strong><br />I saw a sign a while ago that read, "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone." Of course I chuckled, but I also thought how tragic if someone actually believed the sign. <br /><br />The research says that happily married people seem to know that it takes more than roses and romance to make a relationship work. It takes friendship, even being best friends to one another. <br /> <br />After all, best friends don't leave when the going gets tough. They stick by you, giving you the kind of encouragement that comes from not only knowing you well, but loving you anyway. They don't give up when things look impossible. They hold you accountable without shaming you. They don't even mind if you tell the same story you've told them before, because they like to see you laugh. <br /><br />And like any other quality relationship, a friendship is built. It doesn't just happen. <br /> </p><p>=> 9. <strong>Have some fun together.<br /></strong><br />As Bill and Lynne Hybels, long-time marriage counselors, say, "Even the best marriages take a tremendous amount of work. If there is no fun to balance out the work, even the most earnest spouses begin to lose motivation and energy. And the more challenging a marriage is, the more important fun is. We have learned that mutually enjoyable, fun experiences can help heal tender wounds and become a bridge across frustrating differences."<br /><br />Absolutely! Have some fun together. And the less time you have for fun, the more you need it. As author William Feather (1889-1981) wrote, "Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it."<br /><br />=> 10. <strong>Forgive each other.<br /></strong> <br />You see ... it doesn't take a very big person to carry a grudge. It takes a big person to say, "I'm sorry ... I was wrong ... Please forgive me" or "Of course, I forgive you."<br /><br />In any relationship, there will be anger, conflict, disagreements, and disappointments. The secret is to forgive the people involved, learn from the mistakes, and do better next time. And if you can't do that, you're doomed. <br /><br />As author Ed Wheat sees it, "Marriage becomes a series of surprises for most of us, and one of them is how frequently we need to forgive and be forgiven ... Even the best relationship cannot remain intact for long without forgiveness."<br /><br />Of course, many of you will say, "I can't forgive him for how he hurt my feelings ... I'll never forgive her for how she sabotaged me... and ... I can't let that person off the hook after all he did."<br /><br />If that sounds like you, you've got it all backwards. Forgiveness is not about letting the other person off the hook. It's about setting yourself free. As clergyman 'Tope Popoola says, "Bitterness and an unforgiving spirit can be likened to you taking poison and expecting that someone else would die from the effect. Forgiveness is about setting the prisoner in your heart free only to discover that all along, you had been the real prisoner."<br /><br />Others of you may say you can't forgive yourself. You screwed up at home or at work and you know it. But as my good friend Dr. Bev Smallwood says in her book, "This Wasn't Supposed To Happen To Me," it won't help a bit to keep on berating yourself, punishing yourself, or hating yourself. She says, "In the goal of going forward more skillfully, ongoing self-condemnation makes it LESS likely that you will now live more productively and joyfully. Yes, you need to pause and consider what happened in order to learn from it. But that pause should not become a stalled lifestyle. Look at your past mistakes, but don't stare at them."<br /><br />It's kind of like the rear-view mirror in your car. It's much smaller than the windshield for a good reason. Their size is in proportion to the amount of time you should spend looking at them. Yes, you need to glance at the rear view mirror to see what's coming up behind you or what you might hit when backing up. However, the majority of your driving time must be spent looking ahead, keeping your eyes on where you're headed - not where you've been.<br /><br />In a similar sense, learn to forgive yourself and others, learn from the setbacks, and then look forward.<br /><br />Happy marriages need these 10 things. And they have nothing to do with good luck or the right genetics. It's all about knowing the right things and using the right skills.<br /><br />Action:<br /><br />Which of the 5 relationship skills listed above would bring the biggest payoff to your life? Then focus on what you can do to get better in that area.</p>Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-8838106418385426932010-02-23T09:11:00.003+05:302010-02-23T09:30:43.567+05:30The new year 2010Its a little late into blogging about the new year & what it holds etc... but there is a reason to actually type this after 2 months into the "New Year". The new beginnings have begun, the new resolutions have being taken, the positive attitude has being set & in motion... & today I wanted to look back at 2 months n c, what me n my friends had decided on 31st Dec 2009 actually being materialized or not.. Are we doing what we decided, are we moving in the path we sort that every night....?????!!!!<br /><br />Most often people forget what they decide half drunk half over excited for "new beginning". But I believe the things which are said at such moments, hold a lot of value that our "productive thinking"... May sound silly & impractical, but when one really adheres to those moments of joy & live life based on those decisions, more often than not, one is much happier from within... I happened to watch a documentary on discovery, describing the "chemical locha" that happens during such moments of happiness in our minds & hearts, it says when really happy the warmth we feel at the pit of our stomach is due to that "happy" hormones released to our body(isnt it kool, we have happy hormones right inside of us, n we look for happiness everywhere as if a working women is searching for her missing earing!!). I decided to lose weight, n honest confession is, I havnt even tried that hard!! I am sure all of u must hv secretly thought of small/big dreams on 31st Dec 2009, I urge you all to follow it, for life is about being happy...too.<br /><br />"Happy" New Year.... :)Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-25486563111761935892009-10-29T13:13:00.000+05:302009-10-29T13:15:32.206+05:30Darkness....<em>Days pass by somehow<br />But nights are a wagon of pain<br />Injuries may heal with time<br />But marks will always remain<br />Restless on my comfortable bed<br />I toss and turn and try to sleep<br />But thoughts are bulking my head<br />And have formed a huge heap<br />The past is flashing its scorching light beams<br />Tearing me apart , breaking me at the seams<br />The darkness of my life is more visible in the dark<br />And now I am trying to give it a voice , trying to speak my heart..</em>Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-69250903805185563692009-08-13T11:07:00.002+05:302009-08-13T11:10:18.507+05:30The new Sunshine :)These days the songs have no meaning atall!! n in this jungle of bad songs, I found sun shine...<br /><br />The song from the movie "love Ajj Kal" - Yeh Dooriyan" ...... Its 1 of those songs u can listen to for hrs together... I have being hooked to the ipod & my phone, with only this 1 song.....Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-54035806681320956062009-07-28T14:58:00.003+05:302009-07-28T15:08:44.950+05:30The Mind & The heart.....Its a blog I read recently n totally went completely bonkers.....<br /><br />This is the link to it <a href="http://happy-blissfull.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html">http://happy-blissfull.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html</a><br /><br /><em>Below is the blog....</em><br /><em></em><br /><em> Following our love is painful. Forgetting our love is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering "Said in Page 46,Book : By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept,Author : Paulo Coelho-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />It was around 3 a.m. on a rainy night. The moon was playing hide and seek in the dark clouds. And as a cool breeze blew melodiously to shave my face, I was there all alone in my room, by the window, with a novel in my hand.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Following our love is painful. Forgetting our love is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering ”, I read in the book.</em><br /><em>Something about those lines struck me hard. Something about those lines made me feel uneasy. Something about those lines made me immediately close the novel without reading it further. And something about those lines took me into my past.<br /></em><br /><em>“Given a chance Sai, I would want a life of which I have no desires and regrets”, said one of my best friends during a casual talk. “I neither want happiness nor do I want misery. I just do not want to desire for anything. Whatever I have desired for, I never got it anyways. So, I will take whatever life has to offer and not regret anything. That is the best way to live”, my friend finished.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>It seemed a beautiful thought. But then, Something about those words pinched me as soon as I heard them.“ Is that possible ? ”, I asked my friend immediately.<br /></em><br /><em>“ What ? ”, asked my friend.“A life without regrets.. Is that possible at all ?”, I asked again.<br />“Yes Sai.. All you need is a lot of mental strength and a bad memory ;)”, my friend replied jocularly.<br />“Hmm..”, I said.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>We changed topics and life moved on. But then those words continue to haunt me through the years. And tonight, as i was reading those lines in the novel, they only served as a gentle reminder for the unanswered question.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />“Heyy heart, are you there ?” asked my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“ Yes dear.. I am always there whenever you want to speak to me :)”, replied my heart sweetly.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Ya Ya, I know.. So, what do you think about it ?”, asked my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“About what ?”, asked my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“About that only yaar.. The regret.. I have suffered enough now.. I want an answer. Do you think by not desiring anything and by having a bad memory, we can have a life of no regrets ?”</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmmm.. What made you think I would have an answer at all to that question ?”, asked my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Because ‘regret’ is a feeling. And as you always say, ‘feelings are your department and only you know and understand them’ ! ”, replied my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“You have become intelligent in dealing with me.. haven’t you ?”, replied my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm.. Years of experience with you have taught me that there is no point in arguing with you. So, I am resigned to understanding and accepting your ways”, replied my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“That’s lovely dear.. But then, I still wonder what made you think I can answer that question and moreover, even if I did answer, what makes you think it would be the right one ? !”, asked my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Would you answer it or not ? Leave the reasoning and judging of its correctness to me.. Just answer !”, commanded my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm.. There you go ! :) You have already answered that question and that too just now dear ! So, there is nothing left for me to say !”, replied my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“What ? !! Are you crazy ? When and what did I answer ? Heart, I know that you are mad. So, do not prove it to me time and again ! Just talk straight and talk the point please”, said my mind frustrated.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm ok.. Dear, as you said regret is certainly a feeling ! And so it belongs to my department. But unfortunately, when you and your reasoning, you and your judging, and you and your decision making skills use my regretful ‘feelings’, then things, life and attitudes change !”, said my heart</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“I didn’t understand.. Can you be clearer ?”, asked my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm, let us take the novel’s story for instance. The girl is in love with the boy. Love - a feeling. But she does not have the courage to stand by it. Courage – a feeling. The absence of courage and the pain of his loss thereafter led her to regret it all. Regret – a feeling. And thereafter, she only used regret to make a decision about how her life should be led ahead. She used her ‘regret’ - reasoned, judged and decided - how life should be led from there on. Right or wrong, She decided, based on regret, she wouldn’t love him anymore. She decided, based on regret, that she wouldn’t risk anymore. She decided, based on regret, that she would be strong to never think of her love again. She decided, based on regret, that she would change and want nothing from life because she never got what she wanted in the first place ! She decided based on the regret that she would forget her past. And she made and followed all her decisions based on that one feeling and to avoid that one feeling – Regret !”, said my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm.. ”, said my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“And as you see dear, while there were three great feelings involved in the story - love, courage and regret – in the end, she used only regret to make all her decisions and and changed her life accordingly.”, said my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm.. So do you say it is wrong ?”, my mind asked.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“It is not for me to say that dear. To reason it as right or wrong is your department. But then, did you think as to what has she got so far for all the decisions she made based on regret ? She got “Silence”, which she interprets as peace and which she treats as “no regrets” anymore !”, finished my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“How do you know that its not peace, no regrets and only silence ?”, asked my mind.“Because, peace, regrets and silence are all feelings dear :)”, said my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm.. So what do you say ? A life of no regrets is impossible ?”, asked my mind.</em><br /><em>“No dear.. It certainly is possible”, replied my heart.</em><br /><em>“Huh ? !! How is that possible ?”, asked my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Sai dear, every human being is bestowed two critical abilities - An ability to think and an ability to feel. But then which of the abilities is the master and which of the abilities is the slave is what makes the difference between loving our life and regretting our life”, said my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm..”, said my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Dear, When you use our thinking to follow my love, when we together exhibit strength & endure the pain of our love, when we show courage to stand up for what we love - We begin to experience, live and love life. And in that lovely life no matter what troubles come in our way, no matter how painful those troubles may be, no matter how humiliating those troubles can be, and no matter how many sacrifices need to be made, in the end – Our love will win. Dear, Right from a simple love to study higher, or love to work in a creative field, or any love that you are passionate about - you have to use your thoughts, your hardwork, your time, your strength and even your pain, humiliation and sacrifices to go after what you love. In short, if you follow me and go after what I want, I can lead you to a life of where we don’t feel any regrets. But if I were forced to follow you and do what you want, I am sure we both will regret in the end. And that is because to follow your decisions in itself is a great regret for me. It is, for me, equivalent to accepting that the love i hold in me is something inferior to the thoughts and decisions you make.”, said my heart passionately.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“How dare you say that ? ! You say following me makes you regret ? ! Remember heart, It is my mental strength that keeps you unaffected of failures ! It is my mental strength that keeps you away from feeling miserable. It is I who save you from getting hurt ! And it is I and my intelligence who get you the respect people give you. And you say you regret following me ?”, retorted my mind angrily.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm dear.. What mental strength are you talking about ? Strength is in following what you love. Not in running away from it. And it is not me who is afraid of failures dear. It is you. It is not me who needs other’s respect. It is you. Remember Sai, in the end, the people whose words you are following, the people whose decisions you are living and the people whose respect you are craving for will all leave the world. They have to leave. The only person who will be with you is me and unfortunately you are making me ‘empty’ & ‘silent’. And with an ‘empty’ and ‘silent’ me, all you can do in the end is regret Sai. On the contrary, if you were to follow me, not care about what people say or think, not care about the rules established for you to follow, not be scared of the challenges that come your way, then in the end when you and me are alone, I’d have love, you’d have memories and together we would have ‘lived’.”, finished my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm.. Sounds romantic ! But totally impractical. Who on earth would understand that I was following you and that I was in love and for love. Who would understand that I am and I would in the end not regret anything that I do ? And who would respect me for it ?”, asked my mind.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Sai, when you understand yourself and when you don’t regret what you do.. there is no need for anyone else to understand you ! But when you don’t understand yourself and regret not having done what you wanted, it doesn’t matter who else understands you ! Because their understanding is of no use to you then ! Also, any respect out of such useless understanding, is worthless too. So, as long as you understand yourself and follow your love, even if the whole world thinks you are crazy, it'll make no difference to you. But then if you don’t understand yourself and cannot in the end justify what you did with your life, even if the whole world respects and understands you, it’d make no difference to you !”, replied my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm.. And how do I know that what you have said is all the right thing to do ? ”</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>“Hmm.. Sai, in the matters of the heart and feelings, there are no right or wrong decisions. There are only “Human” decisions. And yet inspite of it all, if you want a proof, you’d see that when you are born as a human child Sai, you are expressing and seeking love. When you are dying all alone or amongst your loved ones, you are again expressing and seeking love. Even in between, at all the critical points of life, you are expressing and seeking the love of the almighty. And yet every time a decision to follow your love needs to be made, you “think” ! And it is such a shame Sai that you even think before following your love ! It is nothing more than an insult to the very love that you are born, brought up and die in. Just remember this one thing Sai – Greatness, respect, obedience, name, fame, satisfaction and peace may all lie in liking what you do and making me follow you, but then LIFE lies in doing what you love and making you follow me ! Remember Sai, we – the heart and the mind - only live once together in this world ! And who is the master and who is the slave is what will make the difference between love and regret over your life.”, said my heart.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>My mind didn’t speak after that. I moved to my table, calmly opened and began reading the novel again. And as i turned page after page to read out what the girl in the story has eventually decided to do in her life, there was a storm in my heart & rain in my eyes. </em>Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-38538246615091838532009-07-22T16:54:00.003+05:302009-07-22T17:02:32.505+05:30HomeA melodious Song....I have being listening to recently....<br /><br />Another summer day<br />Has come and gone away<br />In Paris and Rome<br />But I wanna go home<br />Mmmmmmmm<br /><br />May be surrounded byA million people I<br />Still feel all alone<br />I just wanna go home<br />Oh, I miss you, you know<br /><br />And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you<br />Each one a line or two<br />“I’m fine baby, how are you?”<br />Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough<br />My words were cold and flat<br />And you deserve more than that<br /><br />Another aeroplane<br />Another sunny place<br />I’m lucky, I know<br />But I wanna go home<br />Mmmm, I’ve got to go home<br /><br />Let me go home<br />I’m just too far from where you are<br />I wanna come home<br /><br />And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life<br />It’s like I just stepped outside<br />When everything was going right<br />And I know just why you could not<br />Come along with me'Cause this was not your dream<br />But you always believed in me<br /><br />Another winter day has come<br />And gone away<br />In even Paris and Rome<br />And I wanna go home<br />Let me go home<br /><br />And I’m surrounded byA million people I<br />Still feel all alone<br />Oh, let me go home<br />Oh, I miss you, you know<br /><br />Let me go home<br />I’ve had my runBaby,<br />I’m doneI gotta go home<br />Let me go home<br />It will all be all right<br />I’ll be home tonightI’m coming back homeDeyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-16173635153441891672009-07-21T21:08:00.002+05:302009-07-21T21:19:24.808+05:30The best day of ur life<p>We all have our best days of our lives.... Generally the day when something v BIG happened in your life... Or may be many small things together... Your wedding,(may not be the best thing, but its definitely BIG ;)), your 1st job, ur 1st promotion, your 1st love, 1st kiss etc. Incidents like this together make memories, stories you tell your friends, ur grand children...<br /><br />But I think u remember them, when u have people to share it with... sure you are not in isolation when ur getting married...but when its 2 the person u love, n when ur best frnds are around, thats when it becomes memorable... u recall all the silly jokes u guys must hv cracked abt ur marriage on the D day n laugh....feel nostalgic...so basically the "event" becomes "eventful" only when the right kind of people are around to share it with you.<br /><br />I had 1 of such BIG events in my Life today, n sure I hv my family n my friends to share it with... but I dnt have the 1 person I want to share it with the most... The 1 person I always discussed this stuff with...n honestly m happy, but there is emptiness...Well life moves on n so will this...<br /> </p>Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-8727376508434992402009-07-13T16:04:00.002+05:302009-07-13T16:22:08.135+05:30The Day when u c it allHas it ever happened with any of u guys? You buy a diff T-shirt…..yes its may be a different yellow, but its beautiful n u love it... U wear it n flaunt it around everywhere... n people look at u... u love the attention u enjoy every bit of interest u get....n days pass by....ur happy all these days ur happy that u made such a right choice!!! Ur friends were So wrong, but u were right... n yellow suits u!!<br /><br />Then 1 day... ur wearing the Tee n walking on da road, n u see your reflection on the glass window of a mall & u c the Tee, "yukssss!! Its bright yellow, its got White patches all over" its exactly the kind of Tacky clothes u comment on when ur out with ur frnds for coffee n a girl enters da coffee shop looking happy & wearing that!!! N then when da world looks @ u, u can literally hear their mind (with the drums in da background) " look @ da top!!".... "man that’s tooo tacky" " dnt look @ her"!!!u wanna run home & the moment ur home u remove it & through it in the corner of ur wardrobe... n u never wear the top again... :) Its always safe 2 listen 2 ur frnds...<br /><br />After months while looking for another dress, u came acrosss the yellow top, n it reminds u of the time u used 2 get the attention when u wore the top all time... I guess in life, we need such yellow tops so that we know which are the good 1se, & learn to keep them handy to choose the right TOP ;)Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-57753485208987815292009-04-30T11:45:00.002+05:302009-04-30T12:28:35.265+05:30Music OR LyricsHave you guys ever wondered which is more IMP Music or Lyrics? I know we need both to make a melody, but if ever we had to choose what gives soul to the song is it the music or the lyrics?<br /><br />There are few songs which do not work well due to the music given to it, some because the words do not make sense! But what do we, as listeners connect to? n how does that help us enjoy the song? Some songs have weired words in them, yet work v well... like "dum dara dum dara wqt wqt..." tere bin of Guru, A.R Reheman compostion..<br /><br />I cearly am confused n do not have a proper answer to it. But yes, I prefer songs with good lyrics. I wanna know how you guys determine your choice n why so!Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-13211572747895275982009-04-22T13:02:00.002+05:302009-04-22T13:15:55.461+05:30Doesnt Make a DifferenceA boy n girl meet, they fall in love & then fall apart, girl moves on, boy asks for fogiveness & a life back together, girl says, "doesnt make a difference anymore. You are past, n long gone. I have a new life, n I cannot fit you into this part. I respect your feelings, but it doesnt make a difference to me. ITS OVER." The poor heart broken boy collects his shattered pieces of heart n trys to mends it alone. Now most of you must be thinking, guy makes new friends n moves on over a period of time. Thats how most of these "similar" love stories end. lets stop for a moment, n go to the part where, it doesnt make a difference to the girl.<br /><br />I am not judging her, but doesnt such small events become truning point in a person's life? Its easy for people who have the determination not to let things effect you. Is it true? There is such emence self-control that it really doesnt matter. Lets say agreed. But what about the poor boy, there he is walking happily on the road thinking, I have the best life because I have my "twin soul" with me, n Bam! "it doesnt make a difference". What should he be doing? Yes practially he wnt die, n probably he will have to move on as nothing stops. But what about the effect of such a thing in his life? It can be life altering!! He can stop beleiving in "trust", or may be start a new set of values all together.<br />yet again, it<em> doesnt make a difference</em>, does it!Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-15135070748802295982009-04-13T15:59:00.003+05:302009-04-14T17:22:23.930+05:308.5 or not comingAs u guys know, recruiting is like meeting a new joker every hour... So 1 of the funniest jokers who I meet recently.... is Venkatsamy Silarajan! As u may realize from da name, the guy's communication skills are just like his name!! So now he was interviewed with Patni n then an US client everything happened n he got an offer from us.... Since the day I hv sent him an offer, he used 2 call me practically everyday tht too after work hrs with some or the other query... Like 1 day, when I was having diner he calls 2 ask, "Dheya, I going medical test 2mrw, I take urine with me or do therhe" !!! I was like :-O u do it the way ur comfortable!!!! After all this fucking nonsense.... 24 hrs before his date of joining he mesges me, "I not happy with sal, I want 8.5". Now we had given him 8.2, so it was like crying for only 30k..... somehow I convinced him n he joined on 9th April. When he gets the documents, his graduation degree says his name is "VICTOR SALIRAJA" he has like 8 yrs work ex, n his 1st company offer letter name is also "VICTOR" (for those wondering y VICTOR, he has done his Grad/Post Grad from UK, n used an alias name) FUCKKKKKKKKK then all day on 9th april we tried 2 figure out if he is Venkat/Victor.... n finally @ 6:00pm in da evening he got hired as VEnkat n he promised to get an affidavit tht he is Venkat!!!!<br /><br />well its not over yettttt. He mesges me on Saturday morning 9:10 am, "I want 8.5 or not coming, wt my work location. reply by 12pm"I got so angry on him, I spoke 2 my boss n during the weekend my boss spoke 2 him, n on Sunday night he mesged I will cum in 8.2 Lacks. Not so surprisingly on Monday he doesnt turn up, n @ around 2:00pm mails I will join after 2 days!!!! FUCKKKK.... FInally we revoked his offer n now he is calling n sayings " I sorry. I making lots of mistakhas, I cuming I liking Patni"!!!!<br /><br />If I everr meet him... I wud kill him I swear 2 GODDDDDDDDDDeyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-79097916090013227512009-02-24T20:41:00.004+05:302009-02-25T21:52:57.381+05:30Nagaon Beach - AlibaugI wanted to blog this since last 2 weeks. On Valentine's day I had being to Alibaug with my family. 1 of the beaches I visited was Nagaon beach. We reached that place just before sunset, n beleive me when I say this, its a lil drop of heaven on earth. The beach is calm n black sand beach, n in front of the beach are rows n rows of long trees.. I think they r pine, but not sure...n so evenly grown...looks like God acted as an architect while planting them :). For 1se the beach doesnt have any shops or shacks, so its absolutely clean....<br /><br /><br /><br />When the sun was setting, the water gliters like diamonds studded on the beach... the repels of the waves ending on the beach, creating a beautiful design on the shore n gives u a feeling that God is now an interior decorator... The sound of waves slashing against eachother n the cool breeze adds to the magic of being there. I close my eyes n I can still remember the feeling....Its beyond words...U feel calm n quite inside ur heart....The problems in your life seems so distant, away in the city. here you will close to almighty. he is walking with you n healing you with his magic...<br /><br /><br /><br />I would love to go there 1se with the person I love, n the day I do, I will blog it again 4 myself...Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-34980251583179942182009-02-24T20:34:00.002+05:302009-02-24T20:40:36.875+05:30New Romantic Song<p>Has anyone heared the new song from Raaz, Soniyo??? Its so lovely, makes u beleive in LOVE!! Its my current fav song... I just have a big smile on my face hearing that song!! I hope someday the guy of my life will sing that song for me.... The thought drives u to sum other world, far from here... where ur not restricted or binded with situations... there is no work pressure, a place where people get hurt v rarely.. A place where people have time for eachother... to enjoy to be there...</p><p>n back to the real world... :) enjoy the song guys... n do let me know, whtz ur current fav song?</p><p> </p>Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-20858854143476247192009-02-19T11:04:00.002+05:302009-02-19T11:17:21.767+05:30A new kind of LifeIts being 2 weeks since I have moved to Pune. For those who are not aware, I have being deputed to Pune for 3 months for a specific assignment. In a notice of 2 days I had to move here! Thank God I have my bro who stays here, so I got shelter. I have being always being in the warm cacoon of home, where I do not have to worry about anything, except may be trying to keep my room clean. Its a whole new experience here.. n the strangest part being, I used 2 feel so bad to eat alone, n now I just love eating on my own...<br />At different times, we have different views of the same siuation... I guess thats what is called, growing up... I like Pune city... the weather is keeping me away from diseases... n its quite pleasant in terms of temperature.. People here are seem warm...<br /><br />I definately miss home, my team, my friends.. but I think I needed this experience n I am completely exploring it. :)Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-73083686895584981602009-01-23T17:57:00.001+05:302009-01-23T18:17:28.037+05:30Is crying that bad???Is crying that bad?<br /><br />For people who know me well, know this about me I cry a lot. I am not a kind of person who can keep emotions inside n it always bursts out as tears. My well-wishers always advice me it’s a wrong thing to take every little thing to your heart n its no point crying. They are of the opinion people who make you cry do not value your tears. Well I basically wasn’t as bad as I am from past 1 yr or so… due to events in last 1 yr, I sometimes find myself helpless n tears just keep pouring down…Like even if I see an emotional scene of a show, where som1 is being misunderstood or being hurt, I feel the jolt inside my stomach n the knot down my throat!! It’s a bit unnatural as I wasn’t so emotionally handicap before!!<br /><br />What my question is, is it that wrong to be emotional? Luckily I am not emotional with regards to work, its only my private matters that I take utter care for! Like my parents, friends, partner! Is it wrong to be hurt if they do something wrong… Is it IMP u need to rational all the while? Y shouldn’t or can’t you have expectations from such close associates! N if after having healthy relation, something small goes wrong n you cry, y is such a big deal! I love them, n so I get hurt easily n so I cry! People are different right? Its not that I blame them, I just expect certain things from them! N foremost thing is that I am a person who cries, so please deal with the issue sensitively! I know most guys cannot handle crying woman n flee from the 1st door out… I think its unfair.. Guys have millions of habits which annoy us, n we do handle them sensitively.<br /><br />SO any of you emotional fools as me, come to the open n confess your weakness!!<br /><br />Happy BlogingDeyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-22160827677260274992009-01-22T12:09:00.003+05:302009-01-22T12:48:32.397+05:30Annoying Habits of Loved OnesAll of us have annoying habits, n more often than not; we are unaware of it. Interestingly most of the people around us are also unaware. But then, there will be 1 police officer who will know it all, n if he breaks the news to the others around, all of them will be sentient suddenly n that’s when it gets irritating!! Like for example, my dad is a loud chewer, but me n mom never noticed until 1 day, sister pointed… Since then we cant ever over hear his load chewing!!! :D<br /><br />So basically we all have such stupid habits… Mine is, I am a loud sleeper!! :D Yet when you love a person, se habits never seem to bother so much… I mean ur friends wouldn’t stop talking to you just cause you have an annoying habit. Also strangely you will never ever notice an annoying habit of your partner, but all your friends will notice the same!! Aggrrrhhhh… I will not mention who has this, but I know som1 who sniffs a lot!! I mean all the time like a DOG!! But my friend finds her “angel dropped from heaven just for him!!!” But its cute that people not only accept others the way the are, more so fall in love with their imperfections!!!<br /><br />Happy Loving fellow bloggersDeyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-7000756682844527982009-01-01T10:45:00.000+05:302009-01-01T10:46:28.997+05:30HAPPY 2009New Year is the time to bid farewell to the old year and welcome the coming year. It is the time to forget and get past memories that are no longer useful or worth pondering upon. It is the time for new beginnings and new starts in life. New Year has a message for each one of us. One should let go of the past that has bad memories and accept what has happened, has happened for some reason. Instead of clinging onto your past and things that have gone, it is better to let go.<br /><br />There is an old saying that goes, "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened". This essentially means that there is no use crying over spilt milk. You cannot turn back time and do things that would benefit you. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue. New year is the time of new beginnings. It is time to start afresh and do things that would make someone else smile. Make a pledge to make at least one person happy. You will see the difference it can make in both your lives. The essential message of New Year is let go off the past and embrace life as it comes to you. You will be happier and merrier that way.<br />HAPPY NEW YEAR!Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-16669830525284175112008-12-28T22:21:00.000+05:302008-12-28T22:24:20.364+05:30The Paradox of our timesThe paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge , but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.<br /><br />We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.<br /><br />We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.<br /><br />We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.<br /><br />We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.<br /><br />These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...<br /><br />Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.<br /><br />AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-73547506709683877962008-10-23T20:02:00.001+05:302008-10-23T20:06:03.092+05:30FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNERReally wonderful article..... Had to blog.....<br /><br />Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!! Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.<br /><br />QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.<br /><br />QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.<br /><br />QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.<br /><br />QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.<br /><br />QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework. Another perspective... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?<br />The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.<br />An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS: 1. TRUST 2. COMMUNICATION 3. INTIMACY 4. A SENSE OF HUMOR 5. SHARING TASKS 6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN 7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.) 8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS 9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE 10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-88100481810886796062008-10-14T15:03:00.002+05:302008-10-14T15:05:33.406+05:30Father may have known best by Courtland Milloy<em>This is a write up mailed to me by 1 of my friends... Its a beautiful article about the current situation in the world economy....</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>Read on.....</em><br /><br />It’s not like I didn’t get sound financial advice. My parents are children of the Great Depression who put great emphasis on building nest eggs and living within one’s means. They never forgot the words to Bing Crosby’s 1932 hard-knocks song “Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?”<br />But I wasn’t listening.<br />When a TV infomercial said I could buy a flat-ab squeezer and get a fountain-of-youth drink free if I called now, I called.<br />No wonder I’m broke.<br />After taking an early retirement a couple of years ago, I invested in what I had thought were two bedrocks of American economic life: newspapers and real estate. Now, as the nation faces the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, my land deals are worth less than dirt, and my newspaper stocks are barely worth the paper they are printed on.<br />In the past four months, the value of my home has plummeted so low that I now owe more than it’s worth. As Wall Street posted a record point loss Monday, my financial portfolio was reduced to chump change.<br />Brother, can you spare a trillion dollars?<br />My parents’ financial wisdom would not have staved off the nation’s economic storm, but it might have helped me hedge my bets. Suddenly, the low-yield, low-risk treasury bills that they purchased through the years look much better than, say, the once high-yielding stock in Lehman Brothers. But I’m a baby boomer, a product of the narcissistic “age of desire.” Delayed gratification is anathema to me; I want quick returns. Get me a house, flip it, take the equity out. Repeat.<br />My parents used say to me, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” But in my later years, I figured out that if you stayed up late playing poker and won a big pot, then you could sleep late and still wake up feeling wealthy and wise, if not always healthy.<br />Now, visions of an economic depression have shattered all high-stakes poker fantasies. My parents had seen the food and unemployment lines, watched drifters riding the rails, heard the stories about people committing suicide after losing their savings in the stock market. Suddenly, that didn’t seem like a quaint parable from the past anymore. And their principles of responsible living apply today as much as the days before specialty coffeehouses.<br />I called Larry Bailey, a friend and accountant to the stars (such as Venus and Serena Williams), for advice on how to get out of this jam.<br />“When I go to Africa sometimes, I’ll come upon a place that has a total cash economy,” he said. “You don’t buy a car on credit; you save up until you can buy it outright. You don’t build a house until you have the cash to pay for it. You can build it in stages, one room at a time, but you have to pay as you go. Of course, nobody wants to go back to something like that, but if our economy is going to start expanding again, we’ll need to find a happier medium between using cash and relying on credit.”<br />It hurt just listening to him. But my parents had tried to warn me. Moderation in all things, they’d say. A fool and his money are soon parted.<br /><br />— <em>By arrangement with LA Times-Washington Post</em>Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-3523798119492555962008-09-28T01:05:00.005+05:302008-10-09T15:31:43.159+05:30Serendipity<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_XEU-UQexgP8/SO3Wbg8zGnI/AAAAAAAAACE/JAQDfVGTER4/s1600-h/Serendipity1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5255092108400990834" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_XEU-UQexgP8/SO3Wbg8zGnI/AAAAAAAAACE/JAQDfVGTER4/s320/Serendipity1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><br /><br /><div>Do you guys remember this old movie?? I just happen to c it tonight & the thought crossed my mind of how true is this really!! lemme give a lil gist of the movie for those who hvnt seen it, its about 2 strangers who meet accidently during christmas in a shopping mall in NY & the girl truely beleives in Fate/Destiny.... so they set 2 things for eachother 2 find, how they both finally meet n live happily ever after.... </div><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5255091838821907026" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_XEU-UQexgP8/SO3WL0sIulI/AAAAAAAAAB8/imveeKW1MCs/s320/serendipity.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div><br /><br />The word "Serendipity" means, happy accidents... Its a cute thought... but does it really exsist?? Do we all beleive that fate has its way to find things for us??? some say life is just a disaster personified!! WHich is true??? which would you beleive? Do u need to be crazy to be happy? or is there a 5 step process to happiness??<br /><br />happy Thinkin....</div></div>Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-17556325336924821032008-09-07T22:02:00.002+05:302008-09-07T22:10:33.961+05:30Finding way back into love<p>I’ve been living with a shadow overhead<br />I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed<br />I’ve been lonely for so long Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move onI’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away<br />Just in case I ever need em again someday<br />I’ve been setting aside timeTo clear a little space in the corners of my mindAll I want to do is find a way back into love<br />I can’t make it through without a way back into loveI’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine<br />I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs I know that it’s out there<br />There’s got to be something for my soul somewhereI’ve been looking for someone to shed some light<br />Not somebody just to get me through the nightI could use some direction<br />And I’m open to your suggestionsAll I want to do is find a way back into love<br />I can’t make it through without a way back into love<br />And if I open my heart again<br />I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the endThere are moments when I don’t know if it’s real<br />Or if anybody feels the way I feel<br />I need inspiration Not just another negotiationAll I want to do is find a way back into love<br />I can’t make it through without a way back into love<br />And if I open my heart to you, I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do<br />And if you help me to start again<br />You know that I’ll be there for you in the end<br /><em>I’ve Heard This song, when i watch the Movie Music N Lyrics, simple song but nice..<br /></em> </p>Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-84706104228150180522008-08-29T14:01:00.003+05:302008-08-29T14:16:50.400+05:30What is the most IMP thing in lifeWe can say this is a million dollar question, or highly philosophical question - "What is the most IMP thing in life?".<br /> People will say its different for different people, its a combination of different things or happenings. Its all relative! so on n so forth! But my take on this is different! I do think its different. I think its same & the only thing most IMP thing is "LOVE"! The feeling of being in "LOVE" or being "Happy". Please do not misunderstand this as a teenage blog!<br /><br />When I go to buy fruits, the vendor is happy when his fruits are all sold... He thinks selling all the fruits is the most IMP thing, but ground zero basic is, the feeling that he gets... I am a recruiter by profession, and when I achieve a given target, I feel happy, n all month all I strive to "achive" the target! But the bliss is what we look for, and teh target is an agent which gives us that bliss.<br /><br />Now if we hold the above explanation true, why dnt we consider the” feeling" factor in today’s world? If you ask a practical person, he will answer, the most IMP thing in life is money, respect, self dependency. If a child asks his parents, they will say for you its the marks.... & if the child fails to achieve, he has lost on the most IMP thing??? Everyday everyone of us, have so many millions of such small incidents which make a complete day, yet non of us even considers the very "heart of matters", Literally! why??? I dunno... Its for you guys to tell me?<br /><br />For me the most Imp thing in life is the feeling of being in "LOVE" with "happiness"!! :)Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026803859268059501.post-91854541743024353742008-08-16T21:06:00.002+05:302008-08-16T21:07:55.126+05:30Save the spark dude!!Chetan Bhagat's speech for BBA program Students in Symbosis! Its simple & kool! :)<br /><br />THOUGHT I should should share this with you<br />Thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated.<br />The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party - several months in advance - just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life.<br />If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live?<br />Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure.<br />Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? Is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release.<br />Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved - movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result - at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan - I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards.<br />Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends.<br />And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.Thank You.Chetan Bhagat.Deyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06568508919878101386noreply@blogger.com0