All of us have annoying habits, n more often than not; we are unaware of it. Interestingly most of the people around us are also unaware. But then, there will be 1 police officer who will know it all, n if he breaks the news to the others around, all of them will be sentient suddenly n that’s when it gets irritating!! Like for example, my dad is a loud chewer, but me n mom never noticed until 1 day, sister pointed… Since then we cant ever over hear his load chewing!!! :D
So basically we all have such stupid habits… Mine is, I am a loud sleeper!! :D Yet when you love a person, se habits never seem to bother so much… I mean ur friends wouldn’t stop talking to you just cause you have an annoying habit. Also strangely you will never ever notice an annoying habit of your partner, but all your friends will notice the same!! Aggrrrhhhh… I will not mention who has this, but I know som1 who sniffs a lot!! I mean all the time like a DOG!! But my friend finds her “angel dropped from heaven just for him!!!” But its cute that people not only accept others the way the are, more so fall in love with their imperfections!!!
Happy Loving fellow bloggers
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
HAPPY 2009
New Year is the time to bid farewell to the old year and welcome the coming year. It is the time to forget and get past memories that are no longer useful or worth pondering upon. It is the time for new beginnings and new starts in life. New Year has a message for each one of us. One should let go of the past that has bad memories and accept what has happened, has happened for some reason. Instead of clinging onto your past and things that have gone, it is better to let go.
There is an old saying that goes, "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened". This essentially means that there is no use crying over spilt milk. You cannot turn back time and do things that would benefit you. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue. New year is the time of new beginnings. It is time to start afresh and do things that would make someone else smile. Make a pledge to make at least one person happy. You will see the difference it can make in both your lives. The essential message of New Year is let go off the past and embrace life as it comes to you. You will be happier and merrier that way.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There is an old saying that goes, "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened". This essentially means that there is no use crying over spilt milk. You cannot turn back time and do things that would benefit you. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue. New year is the time of new beginnings. It is time to start afresh and do things that would make someone else smile. Make a pledge to make at least one person happy. You will see the difference it can make in both your lives. The essential message of New Year is let go off the past and embrace life as it comes to you. You will be happier and merrier that way.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Paradox of our times
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge , but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
Really wonderful article..... Had to blog.....
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!! Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework. Another perspective... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS: 1. TRUST 2. COMMUNICATION 3. INTIMACY 4. A SENSE OF HUMOR 5. SHARING TASKS 6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN 7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.) 8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS 9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE 10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!! Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.
QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.
QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.
QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.
QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework. Another perspective... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS: 1. TRUST 2. COMMUNICATION 3. INTIMACY 4. A SENSE OF HUMOR 5. SHARING TASKS 6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN 7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.) 8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS 9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE 10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Father may have known best by Courtland Milloy
This is a write up mailed to me by 1 of my friends... Its a beautiful article about the current situation in the world economy....
Read on.....
It’s not like I didn’t get sound financial advice. My parents are children of the Great Depression who put great emphasis on building nest eggs and living within one’s means. They never forgot the words to Bing Crosby’s 1932 hard-knocks song “Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?”
But I wasn’t listening.
When a TV infomercial said I could buy a flat-ab squeezer and get a fountain-of-youth drink free if I called now, I called.
No wonder I’m broke.
After taking an early retirement a couple of years ago, I invested in what I had thought were two bedrocks of American economic life: newspapers and real estate. Now, as the nation faces the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, my land deals are worth less than dirt, and my newspaper stocks are barely worth the paper they are printed on.
In the past four months, the value of my home has plummeted so low that I now owe more than it’s worth. As Wall Street posted a record point loss Monday, my financial portfolio was reduced to chump change.
Brother, can you spare a trillion dollars?
My parents’ financial wisdom would not have staved off the nation’s economic storm, but it might have helped me hedge my bets. Suddenly, the low-yield, low-risk treasury bills that they purchased through the years look much better than, say, the once high-yielding stock in Lehman Brothers. But I’m a baby boomer, a product of the narcissistic “age of desire.” Delayed gratification is anathema to me; I want quick returns. Get me a house, flip it, take the equity out. Repeat.
My parents used say to me, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” But in my later years, I figured out that if you stayed up late playing poker and won a big pot, then you could sleep late and still wake up feeling wealthy and wise, if not always healthy.
Now, visions of an economic depression have shattered all high-stakes poker fantasies. My parents had seen the food and unemployment lines, watched drifters riding the rails, heard the stories about people committing suicide after losing their savings in the stock market. Suddenly, that didn’t seem like a quaint parable from the past anymore. And their principles of responsible living apply today as much as the days before specialty coffeehouses.
I called Larry Bailey, a friend and accountant to the stars (such as Venus and Serena Williams), for advice on how to get out of this jam.
“When I go to Africa sometimes, I’ll come upon a place that has a total cash economy,” he said. “You don’t buy a car on credit; you save up until you can buy it outright. You don’t build a house until you have the cash to pay for it. You can build it in stages, one room at a time, but you have to pay as you go. Of course, nobody wants to go back to something like that, but if our economy is going to start expanding again, we’ll need to find a happier medium between using cash and relying on credit.”
It hurt just listening to him. But my parents had tried to warn me. Moderation in all things, they’d say. A fool and his money are soon parted.
— By arrangement with LA Times-Washington Post
Read on.....
It’s not like I didn’t get sound financial advice. My parents are children of the Great Depression who put great emphasis on building nest eggs and living within one’s means. They never forgot the words to Bing Crosby’s 1932 hard-knocks song “Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?”
But I wasn’t listening.
When a TV infomercial said I could buy a flat-ab squeezer and get a fountain-of-youth drink free if I called now, I called.
No wonder I’m broke.
After taking an early retirement a couple of years ago, I invested in what I had thought were two bedrocks of American economic life: newspapers and real estate. Now, as the nation faces the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, my land deals are worth less than dirt, and my newspaper stocks are barely worth the paper they are printed on.
In the past four months, the value of my home has plummeted so low that I now owe more than it’s worth. As Wall Street posted a record point loss Monday, my financial portfolio was reduced to chump change.
Brother, can you spare a trillion dollars?
My parents’ financial wisdom would not have staved off the nation’s economic storm, but it might have helped me hedge my bets. Suddenly, the low-yield, low-risk treasury bills that they purchased through the years look much better than, say, the once high-yielding stock in Lehman Brothers. But I’m a baby boomer, a product of the narcissistic “age of desire.” Delayed gratification is anathema to me; I want quick returns. Get me a house, flip it, take the equity out. Repeat.
My parents used say to me, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” But in my later years, I figured out that if you stayed up late playing poker and won a big pot, then you could sleep late and still wake up feeling wealthy and wise, if not always healthy.
Now, visions of an economic depression have shattered all high-stakes poker fantasies. My parents had seen the food and unemployment lines, watched drifters riding the rails, heard the stories about people committing suicide after losing their savings in the stock market. Suddenly, that didn’t seem like a quaint parable from the past anymore. And their principles of responsible living apply today as much as the days before specialty coffeehouses.
I called Larry Bailey, a friend and accountant to the stars (such as Venus and Serena Williams), for advice on how to get out of this jam.
“When I go to Africa sometimes, I’ll come upon a place that has a total cash economy,” he said. “You don’t buy a car on credit; you save up until you can buy it outright. You don’t build a house until you have the cash to pay for it. You can build it in stages, one room at a time, but you have to pay as you go. Of course, nobody wants to go back to something like that, but if our economy is going to start expanding again, we’ll need to find a happier medium between using cash and relying on credit.”
It hurt just listening to him. But my parents had tried to warn me. Moderation in all things, they’d say. A fool and his money are soon parted.
— By arrangement with LA Times-Washington Post
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Serendipity
Do you guys remember this old movie?? I just happen to c it tonight & the thought crossed my mind of how true is this really!! lemme give a lil gist of the movie for those who hvnt seen it, its about 2 strangers who meet accidently during christmas in a shopping mall in NY & the girl truely beleives in Fate/Destiny.... so they set 2 things for eachother 2 find, how they both finally meet n live happily ever after....
The word "Serendipity" means, happy accidents... Its a cute thought... but does it really exsist?? Do we all beleive that fate has its way to find things for us??? some say life is just a disaster personified!! WHich is true??? which would you beleive? Do u need to be crazy to be happy? or is there a 5 step process to happiness??
happy Thinkin....
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Finding way back into love
I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move onI’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside timeTo clear a little space in the corners of my mindAll I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into loveI’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhereI’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the nightI could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestionsAll I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the endThere are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration Not just another negotiationAll I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you, I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end
I’ve Heard This song, when i watch the Movie Music N Lyrics, simple song but nice..
Friday, August 29, 2008
What is the most IMP thing in life
We can say this is a million dollar question, or highly philosophical question - "What is the most IMP thing in life?".
People will say its different for different people, its a combination of different things or happenings. Its all relative! so on n so forth! But my take on this is different! I do think its different. I think its same & the only thing most IMP thing is "LOVE"! The feeling of being in "LOVE" or being "Happy". Please do not misunderstand this as a teenage blog!
When I go to buy fruits, the vendor is happy when his fruits are all sold... He thinks selling all the fruits is the most IMP thing, but ground zero basic is, the feeling that he gets... I am a recruiter by profession, and when I achieve a given target, I feel happy, n all month all I strive to "achive" the target! But the bliss is what we look for, and teh target is an agent which gives us that bliss.
Now if we hold the above explanation true, why dnt we consider the” feeling" factor in today’s world? If you ask a practical person, he will answer, the most IMP thing in life is money, respect, self dependency. If a child asks his parents, they will say for you its the marks.... & if the child fails to achieve, he has lost on the most IMP thing??? Everyday everyone of us, have so many millions of such small incidents which make a complete day, yet non of us even considers the very "heart of matters", Literally! why??? I dunno... Its for you guys to tell me?
For me the most Imp thing in life is the feeling of being in "LOVE" with "happiness"!! :)
People will say its different for different people, its a combination of different things or happenings. Its all relative! so on n so forth! But my take on this is different! I do think its different. I think its same & the only thing most IMP thing is "LOVE"! The feeling of being in "LOVE" or being "Happy". Please do not misunderstand this as a teenage blog!
When I go to buy fruits, the vendor is happy when his fruits are all sold... He thinks selling all the fruits is the most IMP thing, but ground zero basic is, the feeling that he gets... I am a recruiter by profession, and when I achieve a given target, I feel happy, n all month all I strive to "achive" the target! But the bliss is what we look for, and teh target is an agent which gives us that bliss.
Now if we hold the above explanation true, why dnt we consider the” feeling" factor in today’s world? If you ask a practical person, he will answer, the most IMP thing in life is money, respect, self dependency. If a child asks his parents, they will say for you its the marks.... & if the child fails to achieve, he has lost on the most IMP thing??? Everyday everyone of us, have so many millions of such small incidents which make a complete day, yet non of us even considers the very "heart of matters", Literally! why??? I dunno... Its for you guys to tell me?
For me the most Imp thing in life is the feeling of being in "LOVE" with "happiness"!! :)
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Save the spark dude!!
Chetan Bhagat's speech for BBA program Students in Symbosis! Its simple & kool! :)
THOUGHT I should should share this with you
Thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated.
The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party - several months in advance - just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life.
If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live?
Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure.
Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? Is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release.
Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved - movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result - at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan - I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards.
Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends.
And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.Thank You.Chetan Bhagat.
THOUGHT I should should share this with you
Thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated.
The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party - several months in advance - just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life.
If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live?
Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure.
Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? Is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release.
Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved - movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result - at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan - I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards.
Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends.
And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.Thank You.Chetan Bhagat.
When the inside aches
Life is said to be full of surprises & shocks!! Yet if you look properly we see it’s actually a patter of the similar activities over n over again. It’s like the 3 seasons of the year. Summer - Harsh and humid, Rainy - gray and moist & winter - cold and numb!
I guess it’s the way of looking @ things. All these days I loved rainy season specially cause it brought a lotta happiness in my heart! I loved watching the rains for hours together, let alone the fun of getting wet or having roasted corn!! But this rainy season has being so callous to me! Everyday the rain has come and I have not being able to enjoy any of it! If I stood for a while & looked @ the drops being dropped I was treated as "insane" and looked upon is such a way that its so wrong to look at falling water!! Now I do not know, it’s the way people look, or was I crazy to find happiness in simple things in life. The rain, a simple walk, panipuri by the corner of the street, etc. made me happy all these time, but now people tell me its not sane! The inside of me aches to hear things so rude n harsh it changes the very foundation of my cheerfulness! You shouldn’t be happy with small things, nor should little things worry you! Life is becoming a boring subject taught by a strict professor for endless hours!!
I know many of you good people out there will advice me not to pay heat to such annotations and look at life the way I have being looking and not let other things influence the establishment in me! But consider you being in my place and you shouting on the top of your voice trying to make yourself clear & you r telling it to some1 who you trust and who has asked you 2 share, but you repeat the same things, n he puts it down saying, you are "conspiring" against his happiness, wishes, hopes, life!! How do you guys deal with such situations! You walk out or you stay and clarify or be patient? Which is the brave thing to do? Walk away from some1 who trusted your life with, or stay and c your values being shattered by the same person!! I realize now, its so easy to advice people, but when it comes to implementing things you have said to every broken hearted friend is actually not that easy to do! n in my case, I cnt speak my heart out!! So its wee bit more difficult! It really aches inside!!
I guess it’s the way of looking @ things. All these days I loved rainy season specially cause it brought a lotta happiness in my heart! I loved watching the rains for hours together, let alone the fun of getting wet or having roasted corn!! But this rainy season has being so callous to me! Everyday the rain has come and I have not being able to enjoy any of it! If I stood for a while & looked @ the drops being dropped I was treated as "insane" and looked upon is such a way that its so wrong to look at falling water!! Now I do not know, it’s the way people look, or was I crazy to find happiness in simple things in life. The rain, a simple walk, panipuri by the corner of the street, etc. made me happy all these time, but now people tell me its not sane! The inside of me aches to hear things so rude n harsh it changes the very foundation of my cheerfulness! You shouldn’t be happy with small things, nor should little things worry you! Life is becoming a boring subject taught by a strict professor for endless hours!!
I know many of you good people out there will advice me not to pay heat to such annotations and look at life the way I have being looking and not let other things influence the establishment in me! But consider you being in my place and you shouting on the top of your voice trying to make yourself clear & you r telling it to some1 who you trust and who has asked you 2 share, but you repeat the same things, n he puts it down saying, you are "conspiring" against his happiness, wishes, hopes, life!! How do you guys deal with such situations! You walk out or you stay and clarify or be patient? Which is the brave thing to do? Walk away from some1 who trusted your life with, or stay and c your values being shattered by the same person!! I realize now, its so easy to advice people, but when it comes to implementing things you have said to every broken hearted friend is actually not that easy to do! n in my case, I cnt speak my heart out!! So its wee bit more difficult! It really aches inside!!
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